Shining A Light Inside My Head

Continuing the exercise I have set myself to re-read and blog my results from reading Creating A Bug Free Mind and Using A Bug Free Mind by Andy Shaw.

Person thinkingIn the past I have realized that I am guilty of procrastination and ultimately quitting any major change I want to undertake in my life. There have been a few exceptions; stopping smoking, making the move from a place I lived for 18 years, starting a business and a couple of others. The thing is though that it is always in retrospect that I realize there was procrastination, after the fact, before then giving up altogether, or moving on to the next promising new shiny object.

Over the last few weeks I have slowly become conscious of a growing realization of some kind of shift in my awareness of my ego’s responses to my procrastination and my urge to give up trying out something new or different. The difference is that I am more and more aware of the ego’s thought process, the procrastination or whatever, in the moment. At first it was an aha moment. So far it has not actually changed my behavior hugely, but I think I might be close to some kind of breakthrough. As Andy says, don’t judge just look, shine a light on what’s going on inside your head. Well I’ve been shining the light and it is becoming more obvious to me when my ego says something like “Oh look, The Voice is on TV, I wonder if so and so is on this week? Better watch it just in case. My new website business can wait until tomorrow” or “I’m too tired to do that bit of research so I’ll put my feet up and have another glass of wine”. I also realized I don’t have a drink problem I have an ego problem, its keeping me stuck in a place where there is no movement or progress.

I have been re-reading chapters 10 and 11 over and over the last couple of weeks trying to get it to lodge in my mind. The main points for me to try and remember are:

  • This is a training process for the mind, so repetition is important (affirmations)
  • Look at my life and question all of it
  • Accept what is and surrender to everything (this one keeps coming up)
  • Keep practicing the off button (no-mind)
  • Go transparent when arguments arise

And remember, the problem with the ego is that it only has the past to go on, so I don’t want to allow it to create my present or my future.

And finally one line that I love from chapter 10: “Think for yourself. Your whole life depends on it”.

Until Next Time
All Things Considered
Gerry

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